Faith

Have you ever watched the movie 50 First Dates?  It's about this man that spends every day making a woman fall in love with him, because she suffers from short term memory loss caused by a car crash, so every night when she sleeps she loses the memory from the day before so she doesn't remember him when she wakes up.  The other day while I was at work I thought of that movie!  I'm a Certified Nurses Assistant working in an assisted living facility for elderly people, and every day that I work I have to re-introduce myself to a few residents who have no memory of me, even though I've been working with them for the past few weeks.  I don't spend the day trying to make them fall in love with me, but just let them know that I'm there for them and they are my number one priority while I'm with them.  I've been working with a ninety-six year old woman and every time I walk into her room she asks, "Who are you?"  I say, "I'm Norma."  Then she asks, "Norma who?"  I say, "Norma Robertson."  She has the kindest soul I've ever met and she is very sweet.  When ever I'm taking care of her, she will tell me, "Oh you make such a fuss about everything. You don't need to do this."  I say, "It's not a fuss and I don't mind at all."  Then at bedtime she will say sometimes, "I can't sleep because I'm afraid people might forget about me."  I tell her, "That's impossible.  Every body loves you too much!"  Then she says, "You're so sweet."  I tell her, "You're the sweet one."  I walk into work with nothing but the will to serve God and I walk out of work with sore feet, tired and exhausted but with a soul overflowing with love.

The will to serve is all I have and His will is all there will ever be.  His will bears so much fruit.  You have to realize that doing His will doesn't take anything away from what you want but opens your soul to everything that you didn't know you could have.  God's will is overflowing with love and peace.  Praying to do God's will is not like working a job, but it's your life with God as He loves you.  Praying to do His will is so much more than we could ever realize because we are asking to be united to Him in all things, with Him in all things, in Him in all things, and through Him in all things.  Your eyes are opened to love in so many ways.  Love conquers all, forgives all, and bears all things.  God is love!  I never desired to have any children of my own but yet I love children and have worked with Preschool children for more than ten years.  I never desired to marry, but yet I could cry when I hear of two people getting married because I love marriage so much - it's the most intimate relationship you could ever have with anybody on earth, a covenant to serve God in each other and together in everything.  There was always something that told me I would never marry or have children, even as a young girl when I played Barbies with my sister.  She hated playing Barbies with me but sometimes she had no choice because I would be the only one there.  While her Barbies were married with kids, my Barbies were at work or either jumping off the balcony into the convertible below and then driving off fast around the house, eventually crashing into something.  Then my sister would be sitting there just mad at me and I would be laughing uncontrollably.  She always ended up mad at me but that never stopped her from asking me to play the next time.

Don't spend time trying to figure out the what, why, and how God is working in your life, or what will happen in the end, because you'll just end up with more worries and fears than you had before (I know I do!).  Have faith that you are taken care of - because you are!  I don't know why I have never desired to have children or marry, or why I would work as a CNA - but I just say to God, "Your will be done!"  Especially in the dark and lonely times when you can't see the end of the tunnel, have faith that it is there, and pray to continue to do His will.