Love is Eternal

When my son is sick it just kills me.  Every time he gets sick I pray that I can suffer for his illness.  When my son was a baby he almost died from dehydration.  He would vomit up his formula and the doctors at our clinic couldn't figure it out, and they kept switching his formula.  Finally, after being admitted to the hospital, a doctor did figure out that he had acid reflux and treated him for it.  The amazing thing about his illness is that he was always just a happy baby.  He had lost weight and his skin was pale, but when he sat on my lap singing and dancing with me, he had a smile that melted hearts - his giant smile.  He was just a baby so of course he didn't know that he could feel better and that he could eat without getting sick.  That illness was life for him.  When he finally came home with his medication and rice bottle, formula mixed with rice, he really blew up.  His baby rolls grew bigger and bigger.  By the time he was one year old, he was a chunky boy.  The amazing thing was still the same amazing thing: he was just a happy baby, but this time he knew the feeling of being better, of eating without vomiting up his formula, and he knew the feeling of being full.  He knew then that the illness could be treated, and most of all he knew love because we did all that we could so he could get better. 

Jesus knows us as sick people.  Our sickness is life for us and sometimes we don't know that we could be better, feel better, and that our sickness can be treated.  We don't know or we forget that Jesus is our Healer and that He heals hearts and souls.  Jesus came and was crucified for our sickness.  Sometimes we become so consumed by our sickness that we think it's untreatable.  We try to hide our sickness because we're embarrassed by it.  I didn't know that I was suffering from a sickness until it consumed me.  For the past two years I was obsessed with a person and I was embarrassed by it.  I avoided all contact with this person, hoping that it wouldn't get any worse.  The obsession consumed every thought and I was in denial about it and tried to ignore it, but it progressed every day.  I finally broke down because I couldn't take it anymore.  There was no thought or dream that this person wasn't in and some days I couldn't focus on anything except this person.  When I realized what was going on I was embarrassed and scared.  Through some comfort, guidance, and advice from my sister in Christ, I brought it to Jesus in confession.  Did you know that Jesus is also an instant healer?  He doesn't say, "Alright. Say two prayers and give it a couple days, see how you feel, and if it persists then come back."  His healing is instant and like the blind beggar, as well as others, we have to bring our needs to Jesus to be healed.  When I was in confession, my voice was shaking as I told Jesus that I was actually obsessed with a person for two years, possibly longer.  I had no clue what He was going to tell me, but I knew I was ready to let it go.  As always He was very gentle and His message brought light to it all and He revealed how intimately He loves me.  His love for us doesn't change based on whether or not we know that we are sick - there is nothing in this world that changes His love for us but through confession we empty ourselves of our own selfish desires and receive Him as pure as we can.  I didn't know that my soul could be full in Him, that my soul could feel better, and that my sickness could be treated through Him because I was so blinded by my embarrassment that I kept it to myself for a long time.  Jesus doesn't want us to keep something that weighs us down, that makes us feel unworthy, and that keeps us from receiving His love and mercy.  After confession I felt like I was free from a cage and I didn't even know that I was in one, because I didn't realize how I had been living.  I messaged my sister in Christ and said, "What was I thinking?!"  

Jesus said, "Those who are healthy do not need a physician, but the sick do.  I have not come to call the righteous to repentance but sinners." (Luke 5:31-32)  Sometimes I forget that Jesus doesn't call us because we're perfect, but because we are in need of a Physician.  Do you know that Jesus knows your sickness and already has a Divine Plan in place to help you heal?  If you don't know, if you're unsure, or if you're embarrassed, I say, "Ask Him."  Jesus said, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matthew 7:7-9)  Jesus knows your sickness and how it controls you, how far it pulls you from everyone, and how it is being used to make you think that you deserve nothing better and that you aren't worth something more, so He prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done." (Luke 22:42)  Then He carried the cross because He loves you.  Jesus loves and cares for us more than we love our own children, and He was crucified for us to be healed though Him.   The sickness we are currently dealing with can be treated, we can feel better, and we can know the fullness of life all through Jesus, and of course the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph lead the way in purifying our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls in receiving Jesus, as Mary was when receiving Him in her womb.  The amazing thing about our sickness is that it's temporary and His love is eternal.  Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that there is still heaven.  We have to remember that the trials we are facing and the sickness that we are carrying are not worth stopping for; Jesus didn't stop when He received the cross.  He prayed that it was the Father's will and He just kept going.  Don't be afraid to confess, to approach Jesus with everything that is keeping us from receiving His love and mercy.  I often tell Him, "What I am giving is so ugly, but I can't be afraid to give You all of me - without You there is nothing.  To You through Mary."



** Please pray for everyone feeling hopeless and confused about what they are currently facing in life.
Please pray for Fr. Pfeifer and all the pilgrims on their way to the Holy Land.  Pray for safety and an encounter with Jesus for an intimate depth of His love to be revealed in their relationship with Him.
Pray for the Father's will in all things and in our relationships with everyone.
Pray for purity of mind, body, heart, and soul.  Pray for strength in remaining pure in those as well.
Pray for sick babies and families - for love, hope, encouragement, and support of all those involved.
Pray for everyone battling an addiction, pray for their families.

Thank you! God bless :)